A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a restaurant operated by a fellow cannibal. Feeling somewhat hungry, he sat down and looked over the menu...
The cannibal called the waiter over and asked, "Why such a price difference for the politicians?"
The cook replied, "Have you ever tried to clean one? They're so full of shit, it takes all morning."
My mother told me to behave.
How should I do that?
During childhood i saw Tarzan going around naked, Cinderella coming home after midnight, Pinocchio lying, Batman driving 240km/h, Sleeping Beauty staying in bed all day long, Little Red Ridding Hood talking with Wolf even if Mother told her not to, Popeye having weed, Snow White living with seven men, Aladin getting high...
And they all lived happily ever after!!!
(found on Google+)
Little Teeny Eyes
1.
Oh we got a new computer but it's quite a disappointment
'Cause it always gave this same insane advice:
"OH YOU NEED LITTLE TEENY EYES FOR READING LITTLE TEENY PRINT
LIKE YOU NEED LITTLE TEENY HANDS FOR MILKING MICE."
2.
So we re-read the instruction book that came with the computer
But it kept on printing crazy stuff that reads
Like: "YOU NEED LITTLE TEENY EYES FOR READING LITTLE TEENY PRINT
LIKE YOU NEED LITTLE TEENY SHOES FOR CENTIPEDES."
3.
So we got an expert genius and he rewrote all the programs
But we always got results that looked like these:
"OH YOU NEED LITTLE TEENY EYES FOR READING LITTLE TEENY PRINT
LIKE YOU NEED LITTLE TEENY LICENSE PLATES FOR BEES."
4.
Then we tested each resistor, every diode and transistor,
But our EElectronic brain just raves and rants:
"OH YOU NEED LITTLE TEENY EYES FOR READING LITTLE TEENY PRINT
LIKE YOU NEED LITTLE BRANDING IRONS FOR BRANDING ANTS."
5.
Now we're looking for a buyer for a crazy mad computer
That will only give out crazy mad advice
Like: "YOU NEED LITTLE TEENY EYES FOR READING LITTLE TEENY PRINT
LIKE YOU NEED LITTLE TEENY HANDS FOR MILKING MICE."
