"Downers Grove" (Emo Phillips)

Lyrics to Emo Phillips' song, "Downers Grove"

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I like to shop in downtown Downers Grove

It doesn't take big bucks, and everyone there really is nice

I went to the bakery just the other day

I said to the girl, "Do you have a zwieback?"

She said, "I always slouch this way"

I went to the pet shop, said, "I want a parrot"

The Guy said, "How 'bout a cockatoo?"

I said, "No thanks, just a bird"

I went into the clothing store and I made up my mind

I wasn't going to let any pushy salesman pressure me into buying

something I didn't need...

So after I bought the kilts

I went to the hardware shop

I said, "This riding lawnmower's stupid"

They said, "Next time, you get on top"

I went to the gas station, said, "Fill 'er up, Harry"

The guy said "Regular?"

I said, "No, put on a gorilla suit

And dance like a fairy"

I went into Gus' Artificial Organ and Taco Stand

Said, "Give me a bladder, por favor"

The guy said, "Is that to go?"

I said, "Well, what else would I want it for?"

I was walking down the street

something caught my eye

and dragged it fifteen feet

That's why I like to shop in downtown Downers Grove!