Thirteen

I was visiting a friend in Savannah, Georgia a few months ago. I arrived early Sunday evening, and had dinner with him and his wife, after which we watched a movie.

My friend had taken the whole week off for my visit. His wife had to work on Monday, but she had the rest of the week off to spend with us.

After breakfast on Monday morning, while we were planning what to do that day, my friend got called for an emergency at work, so I was stuck with the day to myself until he was able to return home.

I had never been to Savannah before, so I decided to spend the morning walking through the neighborhood and taking photos wit my camera.

As I was passing the Coastal Harbor Center for Behavioral Medicine, I could hear the patients in back shouting,  '13.....13....13!' I knew that if I didn't investigate, I'd be wondering about it all week, so I snuck up the driveway to see what was going on.

The fence in back of the mental hospital was too high to see over, but I saw a little gap in the planks and looked through to see what was going on.

 Some idiot poked me in the eye with a stick.

 Then they all started shouting '14...14.....14...!

Traveling to Montreal!

Just passed mile marker 49.8, coming up on Route 89 Exit 7, Berlin/Barr. I'm heading up to Montreal with my brother and my niece, to visit cousin John Dough and his parents. Haven't been north of the border since my gramma's funeral in 1992!

Back then I didn't need a passport to visit Canada. Ah, I long for the Good Ol' Days when we weren't so paranoid about America's Attic!

Rick and Julie are playing State Capitals.

BLU InstallFest

We're holding our 43rd Linux InstallFest today, about 3 weeks after the normal day we try to schedule the March event. This year we found conflicting events for all the other Saturdays in March.

Blake was having problems with a bad LCD display, so I loaned him the one I had in my car that had been donated to BLU recently.

I had ordered some cable protectors and a couple gigabit switches to make the wired network easier to access and to be less of a tripping hazard. The big yellow ramp worked great, but the longer cable protectors keep curling up and merely swap the old tripping hazard for a new one.

Blake has an old Dell desktop, the same model that I had purchased for Amy Mish back when I worked at Zuken. Haven't seen one of those in ages.

I tried out several editions of Fedora 17 Alpha (Gnome3, KDE, and XFCE), and they were all painfully unresponsive. Hopefully the final release will be better. I'm not fond of the direction that Fedora has been taking lately, and it may be time to consider alternatives. Maybe just switching to XFCE will be enough.

What a Coincidence!!!

A chicken farmer went to a local bar, sat next to a woman and ordered a glass of champagne.

The woman perks up and says, 'How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!'

'What a coincidence' the farmer says. 'This is a special day for me. I am celebrating.'

'This is a special day for me, too; I am also celebrating!' says the woman.

'What a coincidence!' says the farmer!' As they clinked glasses the man asked, 'What are you celebrating?'

'My husband and I have been trying to have a child, and today my gynecologist told me that I am pregnant!'

'What a coincidence,' says the man. 'I'm a chicken farmer and for years all of my hens were infertile, but today they are all laying fertilized eggs.'

'That's great!' says the woman. 'How did your chickens become fertile?'

'I used a different cock,' he replied.

The woman smiled and said, 'What a coincidence.'

Random photo

photo, a photo by bostonlinuxandunix on Flickr.

BLU Meeting: Whole Disk Encryption

This month's meeting is a series of "lightning talks" by several speakers.

First off was Jerry Feldman's presentation, which lasted about 15 minutes.
Jerry's talk was about general issues common to all whole-disk encryption
software.

Next up was Ned Harvey, from 7:15pm to 7:58pm, who compared a number of
disk encryption suites:

1. TrueCrypt
2. Microsoft'd BitLocker
3. Apple's OSX Encrypted DMG, SparseImage and SparseBundle
   
4. Apple's FileVault 1 and FileVault 2
5. EncFS, Boxceyptor, Encfs4win, CryptKeeper
   

Some of Ned's discussion:

• how hardware AES crypto chips improve performance
• biometrics and TPM
• need to save TPM's 40-char key -- needed e.g. when motherboard gets replaced, to activate new TPM hardware on the new motherboard
• impact on backup/restore
• using crypto with DropBox to share with coworkers

next up was Bill Ricker, from 8:01pm to 8:29pm, discussing a new paper on a weakness in RSA public key generation

"Ron was wrong, Whis is right" (Arjen K. Lenstra and James P. Hughes)

New research: There's no need to panic over factorable keys--just mind your Ps and Qs

Impure Math

(an old classic I ran across on USENET in 1983)

Once upon a time (1/T), pretty Polly Nomial was strolling

across a field of vectors when she came to the boundary of a

singularly large matrix. Now Polly was convergent, and her mother had

made it an absolute condition that she never enter such an array

without her brackets on. Polly, however, who had changed variables

that morning and was feeling particularly badly behaved, ignored this

condition and made her way in amongst the complex elements.

Rows and columns closed in on her from all sides. Tangents

approached her surface. She became tensor and tensor. Quite

suddenly, two branches of a hyperbola touched her at a single point.

She oscillated violently, lost all sense of directrix, and went

completely divergent. As she reached a turning point, she tripped

over a square root that was protruding from the Erf, and plunged

headlong down a steep gradient. When she rounded off once more, she

found herself inverted, apparently alone, in a non-Euclidean space.

She was being watched, however. That smooth operator, Curly Pi, was

lurking inner product. As his eyes devoured her curvilinear

coordinates, a singular expression crossed his face. He wondered, was

she convergent? He decided to integrate improperly at once.

Hearing a common fraction behind her, polly rotated and saw

Curly Pi approaching with his power series extrapolated. She could

see at once by his degenerative conic and his dissipative terms that

he was bent on no good.

"Arcsinh", she gasped.

"Ho, ho", he said. "What a symmetric little asymptote you

have. I can see that your angles have lots of secs."

"Oh, sir", she protested, "keep away from me. I haven't got

my brackets on."

"Calm yourself, my dear", said our suave operator. "Your

fears are purely imaginary."

I, I, she thought, perhaps he's not normal but homologous.

"What order are you?" the brute demanded.

"Seventeen", replied Polly.

Curly leered. "I suppose you've never been operated on?"

"Of course not", Polly replied quite properly, "I'm absolutely

convergent."

"Come, come", said Curly. "Let's off to a decimal place I

know and I'll take you to the limit."

"Never", gasped Polly.

"Abscissa", he swore, using the vilest oath he knew. His

patience was gone. Coshing her over the coefficient with a log until

she was powerless Curly removed her discontinuities. He stared at her

significant places and began smoothing her points of inflection.

Poor, poor Polly. The algorithmic method was now her only hope. She

felt his hand tending to her asymptotic limit. Her convergence would

soon be gone forever.

There was no mercy, for Curly was a Heavyside operator.

Curly's radius squared itself. Polly's loci quivered. He integrated

by parts. He integrated by partial fractions. After he cofactored,

he performed Runge-Kutta on her. The complex beast even went all the

way around and did a contour integration. What an indignity - to be

multiply connected on her first integration. Curly went on operating

until he had satisfied her hypothesis, then he exponentiated and

became completely orthogonal.

When Polly got home that night, her mother noticed that she

was no longer piece-wise continuous, but had been truncated in several

places and it was to late to differentiate now. As the months went

by, Polly's denominator increased monotonically. Finally, she went to

L'Hospital and generated a small but pathological function that left

surds all over the place and drove Polly to deviation.

The moral of our sad story is this:

"If you want to keep your expressions convergent, never allow them a

single degree of freedom."

-the end

-Aunty Derivative

Sad Story

A woman had 50-yard line tickets for the Super Bowl. As she sat down, a man came along and asked her if anyone is sitting in the seat next to her. "No," she said, "the seat is empty."

"This is incredible," said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Super Bowl, the biggest sporting event in the world, and not use it?"

Somberly, the woman says, "Well... the seat actually belongs to me. I was supposed to come here with my husband, but he passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we have not been to together since we got married in 1967."

"Oh I'm sorry to hear that, that's terrible. But couldn't you find someone else - a friend or relative or even a neighbor to take the seat?"

The woman shakes her head, "No, they're all at the funeral."

(Reposted from Mike Lindsay on FB)

Christopher Hitchens RIP

Christopher Hitchens, champion of rational thought and vocal opponent of superstition, lost his battle with cancer on December 15. He will be missed.

Sam Harris expresses it better than I could: The Blog : Hitch : Sam Harris

Union Rules Hookers

(Originally heard this from a college buddy back in 1983)

A dedicated Teamsters union worker was attending a convention in Las Vegas and decided to check out the local brothels. When he got to the first one, he asked the Madam, "Is this a union house?"

"No,' she replied, "I'm sorry, it isn't."

"Well, if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?"

"The house gets $80 and the girls get $20", she answered.

Offended at such unfair dealings, the union man stomped off down the street in search of a more equitable, hopefully unionized shop. His search continued until finally he reached a brothel where the Madam responded, "Why yes sir, this is a union house. We observe all union rules."

The man asked, "And if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?"

"The girls get $80 and the house gets $20."

"That's more like it!" the union man said.

He handed the Madam $100, looked around the room, and pointed to a stunningly attractive green-eyed blonde. "I'd like her", he said.

"I'm sure you would, sir", said the Madam. Then she gestured to a 92-year old woman in the corner, "but Ethel here has 67 years seniority and according to union rules, she's next!"

An Amazing Deal On IPads!

http://www.jumbojoke.com/an_amazing_deal_on_ipads.html

I've always wanted an iPad, but could never afford one. Now this is an amazing deal! Just $1, and it's totally legitimate! I already have mine!

If you are interested in getting an iPad I know someone who has a bunch that he has to get sold off immediately.

These are legit -- not off the back of a truck! They are from a canceled hospital contract due to Government cutbacks in health care.

Obviously, the numbers are limited -- he has just 20,000 iPads, and at $1 in original packaging, you know they're going to go really fast.

I got mine already -- the photo of one satisfied customer is below!

Get back to me as quickly as you can if you want one too.

We can show kids how to really save money. Who doesn't have a buck lying around to get in on this great deal?!?

- - -

- - -

- - -

What?

Oh, "iPad", "eye pad" -- what's the difference?

Coat of Arms finalized!

At long last, after learning all sorts of cool things I can do with the Gimp,

I finally completed the design for my personal Coat of Arms!

Hooray!

Now I need to find a place that will produce a nice hand-painted plaque with

a customer-supplied design. The services I've run across have no mechanism

to handle a customer-supplied design; they only offer packages where they

design the thing themselves based on the customer's last name.

My research into heraldry traditions revealed that a coat of arms was supposed

to be different for each individual, though each son's version was based

on his father's (and grandfather's, great-grandfather's, etc.) design in a specific

manner. Then when the father died, the eldest son adopted his father's design

but the other sons continued to use their modified versions.

The various traditions also morphed over time and weren't really followed

consistently in many cases, so ultimately I decided that it's entirely appropriate

for me to design my own coat of arms based on my ancestral lineages, and

to evolve the heraldric traditions in accordance with societal evolution that

has occurred since medieval times.

In today's society, women are no longer thought of as second-class citizens.

In light of that, I've incorporated both my father's (Abreau) and my mother's

(Moran) family crest designs into my shield, in the manner commonly used
when two different kingdoms were joined together by marriage. I've affixed
a "mullet" (5-point star) to indicate that I'm my parents' third son; I've replaced
the armored helmet with a blue fedora; and instead of choosing an animal to
represent my basic virtues, I chose instead two of my intellectual heroes:
Thomas Jefferson, and Charles Darwin.

Blink, and you miss it!

Well, it finally happened. On October 31, when I was distracted and didn't think to check the clock, the official headcount of the population of our planet crossed the 7 billion mark.

There are now more than 7 billion human begins living on the third rock from our Sun!

We passed the 6 billion mark on October 12, 1999. The 5 billion mark was crossed on July 11, 1987. The 4 billion mark is estimated to have been reached in April 1974, and the 3 billion mark in July 1959.

Pretty soon it will be standing room only!

Introducing: Plato's Magical Mystery Cave

Time for a fresh new perspective! "Perdition's Obsessive Compulsion", an oblique reference to the legend of Captain Van der Decken and the "Flying Dutchman", has now been renamed "Plato's Magical Mystery Cave"! Hooray! :e

On Dennis Ritchie: A conversation with Brian Kernighan - O'Reilly Radar

On Dennis Ritchie: A conversation with Brian Kernighan - O'Reilly Radar:

'via Blog this'

Dennis Ritchie Day - O'Reilly Radar

Dennis Ritchie Day - O'Reilly Radar:

On 10/30/11 let's remember the contributions of computing pioneer Dennis Ritchie.

I don't have the convening power of a Governor Brown, but for those of us around the world who care, I hereby declare this Sunday, October 30 to be Dennis Ritchie Day! Let's remember the contributions of this computing pioneer. (Tim O’Reilly)

'via Blog this'

IPv6 Baby Steps

Been doing some research on how to proceed, now that my first IPv6 tunnel is working.

The "Seven Deadly Traps" whitepaper recommended finding an IP address management (IPAM) tool to manage allocation of IPv6 addresses. After installing and testing several opensource implementations, I found that phpipam works well.

Tried installing OCS Inventory NG, too, but I'm having some difficulties getting it running properly.

Checking out some IPv6 info resources at ARIN.net. Found the following checklist at First Steps for ISPs

Work Toward Native IPv6

After you have accomplished this, it is time to begin the planning and education process which will result in offering native IPv6 Internet access services at all PoPs where you currently offer IPv4 Internet access. You will need to run dual-stack on your backbone and servers, and will need to push IPv6 all the way to the edge. Here are some pages which will help with that.

• Implementing Dual Stack
• Educating Yourself about IPv6
• Planning IPv6 Deployment
• Designing an IPv6 Lab Environment
• DNS and Naming Issues
• Troubleshoot IPv6 Issues
• Implementing 6PE
• Investigate Middleboxes
• Article on ISP IPv6 planning

Who says men don't have a sensitive side?

Teddy Bear Collection

A woman meets a gorgeous man in a bar. They talk, they connect, they end up leaving together.

They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment, she can't help but notice the soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears in his bedroom!

There are three shelves with hundreds and hundreds of cute, cuddly teddy bears, carefully placed in rows covering an entire wall! It was obvious that he had taken quite some time to lovingly arrange them and she was immediately touched by the amount of thought he had put into organizing the display.

There were small bears all along the bottom shelf, medium-sized bears covering the length of the middle shelf, and huge, enormous bears running all the way along the top shelf.

She found it strange for a young bloke to have such a large a collection of teddy bears, especially one that's so extensive, but doesn't mention this to him, and actually is quite impressed by his sensitive side. All the while thinking to herself, "Oh my! Maybe this guy could be the one! Maybe he could father my children!"

She turns to him. They kiss... and then they rip each other's clothes off and make hot steamy love.

After an intense, explosive night of raw passion, the woman rolls over, strokes his chest and asks coyly, "Well, how was it?"

The guy says: "Help yourself to any prize from the bottom shelf."

Reinstalled RequestTracker

Back in the spring we had a disk failure on the BLU server, and I never reinstalled a few of the subsystems that had gone unused for a long time. One of these was the RT helpdesk system.

I needed RT again for the IPv6 project, so I reinstalled it yesterday afternoon. Couldn't get the dependencies working for the latest tarball (version 4.0.2) so I ended up using the pre-built package (version 3.8.8) from the yum repo.

Alas, there's a boatload of new features in 4.x that I'd like to use, but I needed something operational immediately. Hopefully the newer version will get packaged for EPEL in a few months.

The Science Channel Videos: Through The Wormhole: Machine Planet

Machine Planet (video hosted by Morgan Freeman)